What planning a wedding and mental health have in common?
In my experience, nothing. Over time, I have noticed a major gap in tending to your mental health while planning your wedding. Not only in planning but preparing for after planning! Here’s an example that applies to my own life, I was a gymnast for 8 years. That’s 8 years of intense 20-hour-a-week training my body to defy gravity and not hurt myself all simultaneously. When I finally decided it was time to quit, I could not figure out what to do with myself, and I also remember breaking down in tears about it several times from the letdown. Now apply that same logic to a one-time event that the world has been telling you for your entire life is supposed to be the best day of your life….I have heard several stories from brides about breaking down in tears the day after their wedding. I did after my wedding day!
So, how do we fix this epidemic of brides having very low mental health the day after or even several days after?
I have some suggestions.
Get a planner. They can be expensive and from what I’ve heard recently the Day of Coordination is the most popular option. However, if you can move some things around in your budget to afford more than that from a planner, DO IT. My little brother was already married and he and his wife did all the planning for their wedding day. When we started planning ours he called during our group budget phone call and said, “Katie, if I could go back and do it all again I would write a $5,000 check right now for someone to plan it all for me.”
Have a good relationship with your photographer and ask to see your sneak peeks within 48 hours. Some photographers might not agree with this especially if it’s peak wedding season and they are fully booked but it’s ok to ask! I love to sit down after a wedding and just peek at the photos I took because I am always so excited about the result! The reason I’m suggesting this is because I have a friend who cried for two days after her wedding. She said she hated her hair and she felt so lonely all day. No one could console her except her photographer. The moment she got her sneak peeks and she saw how pretty and happy she looked it changed everything.
Ask for help. As much as it is suggested it is not just the bride’s day it’s the groom’s too. Delegate girl! Not only that but weddings take a village. Venue, vendors, friends, family, and everyone in between. Delegate!
Plan a mental health day for after the big day. If that means scheduling with a therapist, scheduling a spa day, or scheduling your AirBNB for an extra couple of days with just you, you and your besties, or you and that brand new hubby, put it in the budget.
If you are choosing not to have a bridal party, make sure you have a friend who will be with you all day. Don’t swim without a buddy but this version is don’t get ready for your wedding day without a buddy. Make sure they will advocate for you on your big day too. Get that black cat bestie to your golden retriever energy in there!
Elope. It might sound cliche but it is so much less stressful, less money, less everything. And then have a big catered party with all of your friends and family.
There’s a good chance someone you know has felt the way my friend and I felt after our wedding days. Reach out to your village (reach out to me for that matter!) and get some support there’s a reason they were all there to support you on the most important day of your life.
Talk soon,
Katie
